


No Hope of Delivery

by misura



Category: Kim Possible (2019)
Genre: Gen, Missing Scene, Undercover as Married
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-02
Updated: 2019-12-02
Packaged: 2021-02-18 12:02:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,373
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21660517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misura/pseuds/misura
Summary: Shego and Drakken visit Middleton High as part of their evil plan.
Relationships: Dr. Drakken/Shego (Kim Possible)
Comments: 10
Kudos: 16
Collections: Yuletide 2019





	No Hope of Delivery

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kay_obsessive](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kay_obsessive/gifts).



Drakken hadn't seen any reason to need to visit Middleton High in person - not _yet_ , anyway, and certainly not without a ginormous giant robot, a decent death ray or at least a necessarily nefarious plan to turn all the students into evil zombie ninjas who would do his bidding with a single press of the button.

Shego had insisted though, and whole Drakken wasn't the sort of villain who let himself get henpecked by his henchmen, he supposed curiosity had gotten the better of him. Know your enemy, know your enemy's school, that sort of thing.

Besides, it'd be a good opportunity to put in some spybots.

"You call this a science lab?" he asked, one poor and in hindsight rather regrettable decision later.

To add injury to insult, Shego stepped on his foot while smiling at the principal who had very properly offered to show them around.

The principal looked at Shego. Drakken felt a small sense of satisfaction that he wasn't the only one noticing her clumsiness, even if he was the only one suffering.

"You call _this_ a science lab?" he repeated. "On behalf of today's youth, I am offended. I am more than offended! You may expect a more concrete expression of my opinion this afternoon." Even a lair as derelict as the one Shego'd found them would have _some_ long-range missiles.

Since they were probably antiques, Drakken hadn't wanted to risk using them on anything vital and besides, blowing stuff up _in absentia_ was so last-century, so he felt this was a perfect opportunity. If they didn't work, well, no harm done. If they did, harm done, and the world would be all the better for it. Why, it was practically a good deed.

He'd have to think of a way to spin it the right way when posting about it on Villainstagram.

"How do you expect anyone to grow up wanting to build their very own death ray when you don't even - " he went on, feeling like he was beginning to get on a nice roll. True, he hadn't come here to villain, but a true villain knew that evil never rested, that evil wasn't a job, or a fun hobby - it was a _calling_. A _way of life_. You went to bed a villain and you got up in the morning a villain.

You went grocery shopping a villain, and you ignored any and all parking tickets a villain, aside from the ones you paid because, well, nobody wanted to end up on the Most Wanted list solely for committing evil parking violations. That was just embarrassing.

Shego stepped on his foot again, smiling at the principal in a way that reminded Drakken of a desperate killer clown about to get a pie in the face.

"You'll have to excuse my husband," she said, clinging to Drakken's arm like a clingy person. "He gets a bit carried away sometimes. Do let's continue with the tour, shall we?"

"Husband?" Drakken hissed, snatching his arm back as soon as the principal had rounded the corner. " _Husband_? One of us is getting carried away all right, but it's not me!"

"Yeah, you're right," Shego said. "You're more like some ill-behaved pet. Always getting on the furniture and making a mess, that sort of thing."

"Darn right I'm right," Drakken said. "Now, remember to stay in-character. We're a happily married couple about to enroll our beloved and adored daughter into the institution. Try to act the part, will you?"

"Sooo? How'd it go?" Athena beamed. She was perky. Drakken had built her to behave like a teenager, and his extensive research suggested that this was typical teenage girl behavior.

Yet again, he felt he was suffering under the burden of his own genius.

"It went all right," Shego said, her tone not inviting further questions.

"So I'm in." Athena ignored her. That, too, had been programmed into her, of course, which Shego could have known if she'd listened to any of Drakken's lengthy monologues on the subject. He'd even recorded his favorite one and posted in on ITube, so Drakken felt she had no excuse.

She also had no ITube account or any videos of her own, which Drakken supposed was why she'd never rise above her station, which meant he was probably stuck with her for the rest of his life.

Honestly, they might as well have been married. What a horrible idea that was.

"Of course." Drakken comforted himself with some ice cold milk. "Was there ever any doubt?"

"You threatened to blow up the school. So yes, seeing as how that would probably have caused a bit of a problem," Shego said.

"It was a _threat_ ," Drakken said. "You know, when you say you're going to do something without actually meaning to go through with it unless someone leaves you no other choice."

"Yeah, and since it's Kim's school, I'm sure it wouldn't have worked anyway," Athena said.

Drakken felt the milk freeze over in his mouth and spat. Shego got up from where she'd been slouching on the throne chair thing Drakken kept wanting to tell her to stay out of, because it was clearly meant for the Big Boss.

"Young lady, go wash out your mouth and then it's straight to your room without dinner. The nerve!"

Athena scoffed and huffed and flounced away, and Drakken just knew that she had no intention of washing out her mouth - which might be a good thing, given that most of what was in her head hadn't quite been waterproofed yet. (They'd been out of the right material at the local hardware store, so he'd grudgingly allowed Shego to order the stuff on-line, instructing her to put some dire threats of retribution in the Special Comment section.)

Shego stared at him. Drakken stared back.

"She gets this from you, you know."

Still, all in all, Drakken thought it had gone quite well. Smoother than some other of his evil plans, mostly due to a refreshing lack of interference from the bane of his existence.

"So I think that went all right," Shego said, making Drakken realize that actually, he had multiple banes. He supposed it was only fair, given that his was, after all, an exceptional and amazing mind, and with great power came great adversity.

"Yes," he said. "No thanks to you, I might add. My foot's still black and blue."

"Whatever," Shego said, which Drakken knew to be her idea of an apology. Admittedly, it was his, too.

Moments like these, he felt a twinge of something alien and uncomfortable, a vague sense of unease at the thought of hatching evil plans without Shego there to carry out his bidding and make insulting, disparaging comments about his intelligence, his hairline and his resource management skills.

"Think of it. Our little girl, all grown up and about to utterly destroy Kim Possible."

"Are you feeling all right?" Shego asked. "Too much milk?"

"I feel great!" Drakken said, striking his Evil Triumphant pose. "Victory is at hand! Tomorrow - "

" - is a Sunday. No school on Sunday," Shego said, studying her nails.

"Tomorrow we will sleep late and feast on a dinner of the finest pizza from whatever place still delivers here!" Drakken declared grandly. "And then Monday - " Shego raised her hand. " _What_? I'm speeching. We talked about this. No interrupting me while I'm speeching! It's, like, the very first rule in the henchman handbook."

"All right, one, I'm not a henchman," Shego said. "And two, about that pizza - "

Drakken groaned. "How many times do I need to explain this? It was an _accident_. What do these people think, that being a supervillain means I just zap people with my near-instant death ray willy-nilly? He should have rung the doorbell! This is intolerable."

"Well, you better figure out a way to make it tolerable, because I don't think they're going to change their mind," Shego said. "Anyway, I need my beauty sleep so I'm going to turn in. Night, Dr D."

"How can I sleep knowing - oh, never mind. She's gone." Drakken sighed. The fridge beckoned.

Helping himself to another milk, he told himself that all his trouble would soon be over.

This time, his plan could not _possibly_ fail.


End file.
